Gaming in Your 40s: Juggling a Job, Family & Trash-Talking Youngsters

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Gaming in Your 40s

First things first: 40s?!?! Holly freaking #*#*! That’s like… ancient, right?

But still gaming! I wrote an article titled “I’m an Old Gamer and I Don’t Plan to Stop Playing” back when I launched this blog… and that’s already 7 years old. And I am getting older and older – as the titles subtly suggests, almost 40.

And if you’re in your 40s too, celebrate! We’re most likely going to be the first generation to say we’re gamers when we’re 60 and older (if we have enough extra lives to get there!). But before we start guessing what gaming will look like two decades from now, let me tell you about the present.

Even if you’re a grown man (or woman) in your 40s, when it comes to the public’s opinion about you, nothing has changed compared to when you were a teenager – at least if you’re still a gamer.

Probably more so than when you were 15, people will now consider you a total loser if you call yourself a gamer. I’ve had to endure the stares and looks of pity from people – both friends and strangers – when they hear I like to play video games in my free time.

Little do they know that, for most of my life, I actually played games for a living. Not as an eSports player (though I would’ve liked that), but as a journalist writing about games. I don’t get into details with them, because it’s not my job to convince them it’s OK to be a gamer – even if you’re 40 or older.

Even if it was just a hobby, gaming would still be an important part of my life. It was, before I started writing about games for a living, and I chose this path because I was a gamer, not the other way around. Even though my retro reviews, like this Dune 2 review, are no longer read by many because they’re outdated, I still do it because I enjoy it.

But gaming in your 40s is completely different from gaming in your teens. And I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter in the comments below. After all, we have plenty of things to share!

What it’s like being a gamer in your 40s

Retro Video Games Party
Let the retro vibes fill the room!

4-5 cans of Coke, headphones on so as not to disturb the family (and to better hear those players trying to sneak up on me), and two bags of chips. This was all I needed for a perfect gaming session, starting at 5-6 PM and ending somewhere between 3 AM and passing out in my chair.

Sometimes, I could pull an all-nighter without food or drinks. Time just flew by. Ah, the joy of being young.

Not anymore though!

Time is the biggest challenge when you’re a gamer in your 40s. You have a job you MUST show up for, or else those cans of Coke, chips – and even the games you’re playing – won’t be affordable.

You’re an adult. People expect things from you. YOU have expectations and responsibilities. You likely have a partner and, most likely, at least one child by now. These require time, love, and care.

And no matter how much I love gaming, I will never (OK, let’s be honest – rarely) choose playing a game over spending time with my family.

Remember that ideal life we all dreamed of when our moms would take our controllers and hide them as punishment? The promise we made to ourselves that, when we got older, we’d play games all the time? Ha! Real life is worse than an upset mom!

And you know what’s even more frustrating, at least for me, than the lack of time for gaming?

Those 12-year-olds in multiplayer games with the dirtiest mouths you’ve ever heard. You can’t even tell them that you did to their mother what they claim to have done to yours (although, truth be told, there’s a slim chance you really did some freaky things with their mother – it’s a small world, after all…).

Anyway… the most annoying thing in gaming nowadays is the toxic multiplayer environment. Probably it was present when we were young (does playing Farmville and other Facebook games count as gaming?) – but with all the limitations we had then, it wasn’t possible to grow to the scale it has grown to today.

Or maybe it’s just the fact that a kid half (actually, more than half) my age is teabagging me in Fortnite after landing a lucky shot that upsets me. That, and the fact that my lower back hurts so bad some days that even the thought of teabagging is painful. Ha!

But, yeah… gaming in your 40s is like this: dream all day about the few hours you’ll spend playing your new (or old) favorite game after work. Make plans, feel that excitement building inside, rush back home.

Then, you find out that you first have to help your son with a bit of math. Sure, you hate math, but your son can’t know that – he needs to be better than you.

Go through the pains of algebra for 30 minutes, then take a short break on the couch to clear your mind. Just a few minutes, which turn into a 20-minute power nap because you’re always tired.

You wake up, run to your computer, and launch your game. 20 seconds in, the dog needs to be walked and it’s your turn. No, your wife can’t because she’s preparing dinner. Your son’s already building his new house in Minecraft, talking with his friends online, hopefully not sharing any mom-curses, so you have to do it.

When that’s done, you get exactly 4 minutes of gameplay before something important pops up from work, and you have to deal with it. After 3 more minutes of playing, dinner’s ready. This is when you manage to steal 10 more minutes of playing before your wife gets really mad – your son’s already at the dinner table, what example are you setting?

After dinner, you spend some moments with your family. Fun times, for sure, but you still want to play your game. You’re an adult, for God’s sake, and you deserve it, no matter if we’re talking about a newer game like Naraka Bladepoint, or one that makes you nostalgic, as it always happens to me with games in the Dune series.

So, you sit down to play for exactly 14 minutes before something happens: a water pipe breaks, a lightbulb explodes… something. Anything. It will always happen and interrupt you.

Then, finally, bliss: your son goes to bed. Your wife pours herself a glass of wine and starts watching whatever cheesy show she’s into on Netflix. You’re finally alone, ready to really enjoy your game.

But then your wife calls you. The wine, the movie, and the way the stars are aligned have put her in the mood…

You get my point. Gaming in your 40s is always a race against time. It’s something you never seem to have enough time for. It’s something that never seems to happen… until it does.

And when it does… boy, is it perfect! I’m personally starting to experience something even better: gaming with my son. He’s still young, with limited screen time and lacking in skill… but playing with him is amazingly satisfying.

Until I headshot his character in Counter-Strike, proceed with the traditional teabagging, and he starts crying, then tells his mother what I did. And we both get grounded for the next 3 days.

Calin Ciabai
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